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A slice of guitar is enough for today’s music program, ladled with saxophone and a sprinkling of clavichord.

The College of Peculiar Personalities rates this one of the best exercises for the knees.

The resident president is swimming, most days at most times.

Gardens are open for qualified admirers – we only allow people who receive enjoyment from flowers and shrubs like a revival meeting of vampires in a private for-profit blood bank.

There are higher notes, but it’s hard to tell whether these are from the perfume visitors are wearing, or, a slither of rhythm and melody wafting from the assembled musical instruments.